pucker up

I'm off 2002-07-18 11:43 a.m.

I'M GOING TO FLORIDA. I guess when you start to grow up being sincerely nice to people can make a difference. This security guard I work with called me up yesterday and asked me if I wanted to go on vacation. I can stay for free with him and his girlfriend for five whole nights. All I have to do is buy the tickets. I have never been anywhere nice except California once and I was four so I don't remember much. I was supposed to go last summer but my dead beat friends couldn't get a lousy 250 together. Well anyway I got the ticket and I am on my way. I have to clear the days with my boss. I hope it won't be the problem but worse case scenario, I get fired. Woo hoo! Unemployment for me then maybe a job that pays more and the people don't hate me. I have the day off actually for no reason at all today. I think I am going to get loaded over at a local bar and hope my boyfriend forever and ever will be out. I figure that if he sees me enough, he'll fall in love with me. Or he'll do the typical "chase me around like a little puppy dog until my panties fall down". If they do fall off, they never speak to me again, or if they don't bark at me for an half an hour then pee on my leg. Tell me I don't have the best attitude. Sometimes I wish I cold go back, to one specific date, and change one little thing. That one thing would've saved me from the anguish and abuse I receive on a daily basis. Still I stay strong and always remember there is only one way from the bottom. Whatever. I haven't had a boyfriend since I was eighteen. I still don't want to count him. He was a meanie, who would have thought that when I went to hang out with my ex-boyfriend he frequently absent feelings would have gotten hurt. I didn't care and that was my first step into womanhood. I lost my virginity way too young and it just left myself open to torture and abuse from guys I was infatuated with for a very long time. I am still not whole from a lot of the shit boys have put me through. Well anyway I am no next day subject for a talk show and I promised myself I would never be. I should go out at least once this weekend so I'll probably have a lot more interesting things to say.

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