pucker up

Ice Ice Baby 2003-02-18 7:57 p.m.

You know I met Vanilla Ice. For real, my friend Steve took me to a tatoo convention on my 22nd Birthday. Well they were having a competition and Gene Simmons was the judge. He's so fucking gross. I mean when he walked by me and winked at me and my friend I almost gagged. The whole time he had this blonde fake titted bimbo bouncing up and down on his lap. He acted like this was expected, written in a contract of something,"must have natural spring water and skank at his side." Anyway getting off the subject, so I am walking around talking to the artist getting estimates on my touch-ups and stuff then I hear the announcer,"and here we have Vanilla Ice..." I am thinking, stop making fun of that poor boy calling him Vanilla Ice. It really was him.

I didnt' know how to react, I didn't get it. He was just hanging out, he wasn't a celebrity judge or anything. He was just there. I started feeling bad for him then my mind started going nuts. At first I was just going to say hi, then I was going to talk to him and get an autograph. That snowballed to flirting and hitting on him. finally it escalated to pinching his ass and giving him my number. I think he's married but whatever how classic would it be to say that Vanilla Ice turned me down. I lost him then finally caught him between one of the isles. Not exactly getting horded with reservations but there were a few people around. I got cold feet at first so I just stood a few yards away from him.

At this point my friend Keisha was cheering me on but we got distracted when the announcer started playing, Ice Ice baby. Me and her danced like maniacs and Steve was like,"Vanilla is laughing at you's", in a good way though. At that point I had already embarrassed myself so I went for it, right when he turned to walk away. Lucky for me one of the tatoo artist I was talking to earlier caught me and got "Rob Vanwinkle" back so he would sign my tatoo pamphlet. Believe it or not he's really hott in person. He's so good-looking. So I got him to sign, then I grabbed his arm so I could check out his sleeve. I am already forgetting who i am touching and acting like good old Curlysue, mumbling to myself about how much I love tatoos. Vanilla says,"oh so you like tatoos?" "Yeah, there are the best!" "So do you have any?" I answer absently,"yes I have a few." "Can I see them?" "hm..no, maybe another day, thanks for the autograph." I skip away. Keisha then blurts,"I think he hit on you!" "What, who,oh for real. Oh I touched him!!!!"

I never did pinch his ass but I did get my pamphet signed. Maybe I will see him again down here since he gets his work done in Tampa.

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