pucker up

puddle of mud 2003-03-05 5:40 p.m.

Oh man I am so sick of haters. I mean I decided to do all of this diary stuff for fun and boredom. Just something to document feelings and other things that I might forget. Stuff I can type down when I don't have my paper journal around. I do most of this when I am at work, so my mind isn't reall plagued by all my stress and thoughts. I write as I think, I think as I feel, I feel as I breathe. Every motion, stroke word reacts to the rhythm of an involuntary action. In out wince cry document. I mean it could be that way at times, or maybe it is more like, in out giggle smirk. Anyway even though this is public, or even if someone found my notebook of written stuff, I can't be blamed if they don't like it.

I DIDN'T WRITE IT FOR YOU!

I don't need to answer to anyone or prove anything. I do take requests so here goes a few things. To those out there who do take an interest. I will spill five things about myself i choose to. I don't have to do this, but i like you Barry, and I understand you're curious.

I had to leave home when I was 15, I solely supported myself since then, and I am so darn proud of myself for doing so. While my friends got sent to cancun, I was working over-time for my proms. Once again I loved all of this because i grew a sense of taking care of myself. That's also why I got use to not wearing a winter jacket.

I give money to charity, homeless people, I donate to animal shelters, I volunteer for food drives and more. I do this all with glee and no type of resentment. I run, walk, skip, jump, fast and much more for numerous diseases. My friends constantly crack on me for that, seriously every time i give food, clothes, blood, anything. It's a running joke at most parties.

Generally I have been abused, have had disorders, have had moments of weakness like alot of people have. This is only a taste of things taht have happened. You know why I don't talk about it, because none of that shit matters. It's all about the present, and if I can't stress anough how noone owns me, I don't need anything I don't want to define me. Nothing from the past defines what I am or molds me into something I wouldn't want to be. Your as strong as you let yourself be.

Ooooo I got to go now but on a lighter note. I went to 711 and fell in a puddle of mud. Yep, it was a laughathon the rest of the day. In fact I am sitting in sweats and an N*sync concert T-shirt. I look great.

Peace

<< now >>