pucker up

Sad 2003-06-04 4:45 p.m.

I am having an awful day. I am at work and a bit depressed. They let a few people go including the one manager that treated us like people instead of employees. I am sure he'll be fine but it made me sad and worried. I hate feeling worried. I have be at ends with my boss, back and forth and just started talking to him again. It was weird you know to think that I couldn't use a person's attraction to me to my advantage. At least I thought, later on I was on my way out from the bathroom and ran into him. He came up and put his arm around me and said that he had told Lisa to tell me not to worry when the "changes" came into effect. I thought he meant schedule changes, not termination. I tried not to tear, because I wanted to be strong, not weak and vulnerable. he just held onto my hand softly and told me," I know that you may think that I don't like you or have a problem, but that's further from the truth...You're fine don't worry...". I don't know sometimes, I just get real nervous because I would be real screwed if I lose this job. I have to work close to home because I can't drive. I mean when I get everything cleared up with my license, I'll be more secure. I don't have too much around and I really don't want to work at the titty joint around the corner. I don't like to feel trapped. Yet I felt comforted in the hallway, I don't know what's going on.

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