pucker up

I wake up feeling truly exhausted today. All of that alcohol is really hitting me hard. I play and talk and tease my sister. I fall asleep on her every 20 minutes. We order out food and wait for my mom to get home. This day isn't all that exciting except for the phone call. I missed his phone call, GRRR...but then again he didn't leave a fucking message. He's so fickle, it's like I have to be ready right then and there or the opportunity is gone. Nothing ever changes. I just want to make him sweat me. So I stop the cycle. instead of the driving by and pining. assuming where he is and what he's doing. The whole stalking type fiasco. I stopped it, I stopped her. "Melly, stop the car." "What?!" She stops and I walk up the stairs and ring the door bell. No Answer. I hear noise coming from the backyard. I walk in and greet John's dad and ask for him. He's been putting a deck together the past few days. He looks even worse in the light. I love it. We chat and I tell him I am leaving, he curses me for moving to Florida and hugs me tight. "You smell so good." He doesn't want to let go. His father, John, and I talk a little more and I leave him for good. I am only gitty about the fact that I went right up to his house. He's sad becausehe has to actually watch me walk away this time. There's nothing he can do about it. My faint scent of Pink Lemonade and coconut will be what he has. I know I am over it, and I wasn't happy because of him, I was happy because of me around him. I end the night hanging out with my Dad in Queens.

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