pucker up

Frustration 2004-02-19 10:30 a.m.

Another day has past and I seem to continue feeling more blah then ever. I guess my attempt to feel something close to anything sort of failed. I mean I was into the feel and gittyness of the whole situation at first but now it's all gone. I really am at lack of desire and it's almost like i lost respect for him because we had sex. Ugh...why do I do this? Is this just it from now on.

I know that I had my issues of love and my lack of it. I know that I have never been in love and probably won't ever fall in love for a very long time with the way things are going. It was so hard to thrash out of my head that I do deserved to be love no matter how much I hate myself. Maybe Love won't happen for me but I would never spend a day making someone else feel like me. Nobody should feel that they shouldn't have someone care for them, no matter what.

I just get frustrated because i have such small expectations that it's awful someone couldn't follow up. I mean he's not bad at doing that, but I am talking about everything. I only asked for the consideration you would give me as a friend, acquaintance, co-worker, or human. That's it. I think it's reasonable enough, so why change after you start hooking up with me?

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